Lost in Mentaltown

A man comes in around midnight and asks what town he's in. I said "This is Mentaltown". He says "Really? I've been wandering around for several hours trying to figure out where I am" I asked him where he was heading and he named a town about 20 miles away so I asked him if he wanted to use our phone to call a cab, he said "No I've got the money but I'm a firm believer in what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" I am too, but I'm not going to walk 20 miles somewhere I don't have directions to, in 20 degree weather. I asked the guy if he was sure, and he said yeah and left.

A few hours later he comes back to buy some Red Bull. I asked him how his travels were and he said "I got half way there and decided to come back"

Crappy finger painting

I was talking to my pharmacist friend at work the other night and he told me this story.

Years ago when he worked at a different store, one day there was a boy around 12-13 who asked to use the bathroom. He led to the kid to the bathroom, but after being in there 20 minutes or so he knocked on the door and asked if everything was ok. The kid said yeah and he would be out in the minute.
The kid comes out of  the bathroom and my pharmacist friend goes in to find that the kid had been doodling. Finger painting scribbles covered the bathroom wall, with shit.
The kid had been finger painting with his own shit, in a drug store bathroom...

My pharmacist friend went and found the mother and said "hey I'd like to show you something" and brought her and her son to the bathroom. The mother asked the kid if he had done it and he admitted. She slapped him and told him not only would he be cleaning up his mess, he would also be cleaning the entire bathroom until it was spotless.

Unlike in Potty Time I applaud that mother.

Drunk lady wants douchebags

This drunk lady that reminded me of an older trashier Snooki came in last night. Because I wasn't at the counter she yells at the top of her lungs "yo where y'all douche be at?"  I showed her to the aisle and she's standing there zoned out staring at it when my male supervisor comes over and asks if he can help her. She looks at me like she's embarrassed about it now that there's a guy present. So now you're embarrassed even though you yelled it when you walked in?

"your ass looks fine to me"

An old fat man that reminds me of Danny Devito with what sounds like a russian accent comes into the store. He delivers the newspapers in the morning and came in early to buy cigarettes before his paper route. He says "I see you in here all the time, you seem like a hard worker" I said "yeah I've been working my ass off lately" he looks behind me like he's looking at the cigarettes and says "you're ass looks fine to me" Dude you're old enough to be my grandfather, get the fuck out of here.