Shoplifter

I caught a girl shoplifting. I've seen her in the store a few times before. She looks like a bum. The first time she came in she was covered in bruises. It made me wonder if her boyfriend had beat her or something.  Last time she came in she brought a bunch of change and wanted cash for it.

I was walking by the aisle when I saw her trying to put a Beanie Baby in her backpack. She kind of jumped when she saw me stop and then she tried to play it off. She asked if I thought her son would like the Beanie Baby. I thought for a minute, and felt a little bad for her. I told her he would probably like it better if she paid for it. She just looked at the ground. In a nice way I said "Look I know what you were trying to do. I think it's nice that you have your son in mind but you can't just take that. I'm not going to make a big deal out of it, but don't let me catch you doing this again."

She almost broke down crying swearing to never to do it again (personally I think she probably will) then she told me how the store manager at the Stop & Shop next door called the cops because she was caught stealing baby formula. She thanked me again for not calling the cops and left.

I suppose she had good intentions At least she wasn't like the other guy who stole mouth wash and then got drunk off it by our pharmacy.

"Hurteded" Feelings Part 2

So a few days ago I talked about a customer that I guess I had "Hurteded" her feelings. This had to have been at least 3 months ago. She's waited til now though to make an issue out of it andI know I've checked her out since then without her complaining. When I put someone's card in it shows their last name. One time when I saw her's I asked if she was related to a girl I used to work at the grocery store with. Turns out she's a friend of mines mom.

If you didn't read the first post, I don't remember this incident but I guess what happened was the store phone was ringing and I answered it before checking her out. She kept repeating that I "Hurteded" her feelings. I asked if I apologized during the incident she said yes. When I apologized to her again a few nights ago she hugged me and I thought that was the end of it.

Tonight this bitch was in here again complaining to another one of my co-workers about the same incident and how she wanted to call corporate about it. I was standing in the next aisle so I heard everything she said. It was all I could do not to go over there and say something.

One question I can't get out of my head is, What the fuck is it you want from me lady?! I have apologized multiple times now! So what, you're not going to rest until you've complained to everyone I work with? I answered the phone, big fucking deal, I know that just makes me such a horrible person but Its a part of my job. What is it I have to do to make her happy?

As I write this I'm thinking of 2 things. I realize I can not argue with someone who's unreasonable. There are some people that it doesn't matter what you do, they're just not going to be happy. I guess this lady is just one of those people.
The second thing, I'm getting worked up and pissed off over something stupid, which means I'm no better than that lady. I suppose what bothers me so much is that I've apologized to her so many times now and she won't let it go. I guess if I can't let it go either I'm no better than her. So I guess all I can do is take my own advice and get the fuck over it. I've been in customer service long enough to know, while I may be pissed off now there's no sense in getting worked up over something I can't change.

So I want to know what you think! Did I do something wrong or is this lady just a crazy customer? Leave me a comment below telling me what you think!

"Hurteded" Feelings

I was outside on my cigarette break chatting with one of my supervisors when this lady comes up to us, points at me and says "I could have got you in trouble" I don't recognize her and have no idea what she's talking about. My supervisor and I just looked at each other confused. The lady continued, "I was in here a few months ago and the phone was ringing and you answered it instead of checking me out first. It 'hurteded' my feelings. I wanted to call the store owner but I didn't" she kept repeating herself saying I had really 'hurteded' her feelings"

Ok...

#1
when the phone is ringing and I'm the only one ringing people out its hard to do two things at once. I'm only one person, I can't help everyone at the same time.

#2
I don't know who's calling, it could have been my boss or a customer. If its a customer and I don't answer they could get pissed off and complain. So either way it seems someone is going to get pissed off because I didn't help them fast enough.

#3
I told her I didn't remember the incident (unless you're doing flaming cartwheels I'm not going to remember one customer I checked out months ago) so I asked if I said something like "I'm sorry for the wait thank you for your patience" she said that I did. Ok so I did apologize, what else do you want from me?

I apologized to the lady again, she hugged me asked if I had an extra cigarette and left. She goes from being mad at me to hugging me. My supervisor and I
were left standing there just wondering wtf had just happened.

Crazy Guy Rant Part 1

This is just a huge WTF?

This old white guy came into my store and was so ridiculous, and crazy it was just unbelievable and after 10 minutes and no end in sight I started audio recording it. This is only part 1. If anyone can explain to me what the hell he was talking about leave me a comment and stay tuned for Crazy Guy Rant Part 2: Jesus Rap (yeah he actually starte rapping)

If you like this video subscribe to www.youtube.com/Crazycustomerservice

Asshole

This guy that comes in regularly got mad at me.
Without my glasses I have horrible eyesight. Before I even continue, I can see things if they're in front of me, it's distance I have trouble with. just to give an example of how bad my eyesight is, there was one time I was loitering outside a Cumberland Farms with my sister when this lady pulled up. She was going inside and I saw what I honestly thought was a puppy in the front seat. As she was walking by I said "oh your puppy is cute" she said "thats not a puppy thats my son" X_x oops. My sister shook her head and walked away...

So this guy comes in and I only saw him from behind. Whenever a customer walks in I go up to them and ask if they need help finding anything. I went up to this guy and asked if he needed help with anything and I recognized him once I got closer. I was just trying to be polite and he answers me with this pissy "no"
As I'm checking him out he says with the same pissy attitude "I'm in here almost every night, why would you ask me if I needed help?"

Well pardon fuckin me for doing my job. I apologized to him and said I didn't recognize him without my glasses on. All he said was "oh". I just apologize for trying to being polite, dude you can't apologize for being a douche?

There seems to be a lot more assholes in my job lately. What is this "everyone be a prick to your cashier week"?

Pain in the ass

A drunk lady comes in and says she wants a blue Philly. Sometimes people confuse the purple grape for blue so I asked if that's what she wanted. She says "I want the blue one are you deaf?" We don't carry 'blue Phillys' so I don't know what the fuck she's talking about. I told her we don't carry that and she gets even more pissed off and says "I said I wanted a Dutch master. Are you trying to be a pain in the ass?" Bitch that is not what you said and now you're giving me an attitude? In my mind I'm saying "fuck you" but as a cashier I'm required to smile and deal with it. It's not worth arguing over and she's clearly intoxicated.

After she left I asked the girl behind her "you heard her say she wanted a Philly right?" yeah she did. But whatever I guess I'm just a pain in the ass.

Donations & AsshoLeS

This month my store is taking donations for ALS (the disease Stephen Hawking has) and Cystic Fibrosis research. A message pops up on the register when I'm checking them out. People tend to be rude when asked if they want to spend there money on other people. I'll say "Would you like to donate-" and I'm cut off with a "no" before I even finish the sentence. I understand if you don't want to donate but you could at least let me finish the sentence asshole. Is common courtesy too much to ask for these days? It's sad when I actually do ask, and I'm thanking people for letting me finish a sentence.

Last night a kid came through my line, and after his receipt printed he asked if we were doing any donations. I was shocked because no one ever wants to donate when I ask. By this point I'd stopped asking and just hit no when the message pops up. I told him about our stores current donations and he bought a piece of candy just so he could donate $3. I was moved by the small act of kindness and I told him how I had given up asking people because all I got was rude replies. He laughed and said "I was sent here to tell you not to give up" and left. I started asking again after he left and actually got a few donations. So lesson of the day: not every customer is a selfish asshole.

Snooki on my intercom

I'm not one to spend much time on Facebook, I'll just quickly check it on my iPhone every once in a while. However a week or 2 ago I was reading a friends status about Snooki's pregnancy that I found hilarious. It said her due date was the Mayan doomsday.

Btw, what happened to Lindsay Lohan's face? 0_o

The other night at work I had to page my supervisor for something, I can't even remember what. Apparently after I paged him I didn't hang up the phone properly. I continued ringing out customers and someone noticed US Weekly which currently has a pregnant Snooki on the cover. We started talking about her pregnancy and I started cracking jokes. A lot of them were from the status below, and a few of my own like if Snooki breast feeds her baby that kid will probably be constantly wasted and child services will probably go wait in the hospitals waiting room the second they hear she's gone into labor. I even quoted her from one of the few episodes I've seen. Personally I hate Jersey Shore. I think it gives whorible messages to our already retarded youth such as "this is the night to go all out and get drunk, steal a plant, have sex with an old man and get arrested"

Little do I realize everything I'm saying is being broadcast to the pharmacy and the back room. Thank god it wasn't through out the whole store.

After about 10 minutes my pharmacist friend I talked about in Crappy Finger Painting comes to the front. I said "oh hey _____ I've never seen you come up here before" he's laughing and says "just a tip you might want to hang up the phone"

 

 

 

9/8/12 update

  

 

I like how according to Google, Snooki's kid was born August 26th. So this baby is less then 2 weeks old and she's already throwing it in the spotlight.

 

I'm sure Snooki is going to be a great mom...



Crappy finger painting

I was talking to my pharmacist friend at work the other night and he told me this story.

Years ago when he worked at a different store, one day there was a boy around 12-13 who asked to use the bathroom. He led to the kid to the bathroom, but after being in there 20 minutes or so he knocked on the door and asked if everything was ok. The kid said yeah and he would be out in the minute.
The kid comes out of  the bathroom and my pharmacist friend goes in to find that the kid had been doodling. Finger painting scribbles covered the bathroom wall, with shit.
The kid had been finger painting with his own shit, in a drug store bathroom...

My pharmacist friend went and found the mother and said "hey I'd like to show you something" and brought her and her son to the bathroom. The mother asked the kid if he had done it and he admitted. She slapped him and told him not only would he be cleaning up his mess, he would also be cleaning the entire bathroom until it was spotless.

Unlike in Potty Time I applaud that mother.

Fried chicken for seizures

A guy at one of my jobs had a seizure the other day. At first I had no idea what was happening, my supervisor just said "go outside and wait for the ambulance to arrive" when I asked what happened he told me to just go outside and do what I was told.
I went outside and a manager sent me back in as the ambulance was arriving.

I had to help a customer find an item near the aisle where the guy had the seizure so after I helped them I was curious and walked down to see what happened.

My store manager had brought a chair over to the guy and was talking to him. He told me to go get the man fried chicken. I just said "yes sir" and did as I was told.

But I was thinking, out of all the things in this store that could possibly help this man, fried chicken?

The guy was fine in the end.

Potty time

I was cleaning up behind the counter in the photo area when I stumbled on a left behind picture. At first I thought "this would be great for twitter and the blog" so I took the pic and tweeted it but on second thought I realized I could potentially get in trouble over it so I deleted it from twitter and my phone.

However I see nothing wrong with describing the picture.

The picture was of a little girl that looked wasted. I'd guess she was between 2-4. She had fallen into the toilet and the caption said 'potty time'

My first reaction was lmfao.
Thinking about it, the pic was cute but as a parent why are you taking a picture instead of helping your kid put of the toilet? That's some great parenting lol.

Drunk lady wants douchebags

This drunk lady that reminded me of an older trashier Snooki came in last night. Because I wasn't at the counter she yells at the top of her lungs "yo where y'all douche be at?"  I showed her to the aisle and she's standing there zoned out staring at it when my male supervisor comes over and asks if he can help her. She looks at me like she's embarrassed about it now that there's a guy present. So now you're embarrassed even though you yelled it when you walked in?

Apparently WW3 is being started next month by Canada?

A dirty homeless looking guy came into the grocery store asking for help finding something so I went to help him and check him out. While I'm checking him out he looks around to see if anyone else is nearby and says to me "You know not many people know this but WW3 is starting in March. The Canadians, Chinese and Russians are all going to team up on Israel" I asked him why he thought that and he said he learned it listening to a show online every Saturday that he doesn't remember the name of. His story reminded me of this old video



He also told me Jesus is coming in 10 years.

5 things NOT to do at the store

#1 Do NOT talk on your phone when you're checking out. I'm standing here waiting for you to pay, I'm busy, I have shit to do. Don't just stand there ignoring the cashier while you bull shit on the phone. It's rude assholes.

#2 DO NOT try and hit on the young attractive cashier if you're old and creepy. You're just embarrassing yourself and we're not interested.

#3 DO NOT throw away full open containers of beer, dunkin donuts, etx in our garbage cans outside its fucking disgusting when you have to change the over flowing garbage can and it's leaking beer and coffee everywhere. Just dump it out first or something.

#4 If you're at the grocery store and you decide at the last moment you don't want something or can't afford it, just give it to the cashier. Don't shove bacon, ice cream and other frozen foods in our magazine racks and then bitch that it's expensive. It's your fault for damaging our products. We lose money on that stuff and then you have to pay more.
Also you people aren't slick when you're shoving some unwanted item in the back of whatever.

#5 Especially during 3rd shift, contrary to popular belief we have a lot of stuff to get done, why do you think (most) stores look nice and well stocked when you come in in the morning.
DO NOT waste our time because you can't make up your mind what candy bar you want. Come to us when you make up your damn mind.
________________________________

Sorry this post is kinda pissy but god people is this stuff too much to ask for?

"your ass looks fine to me"

An old fat man that reminds me of Danny Devito with what sounds like a russian accent comes into the store. He delivers the newspapers in the morning and came in early to buy cigarettes before his paper route. He says "I see you in here all the time, you seem like a hard worker" I said "yeah I've been working my ass off lately" he looks behind me like he's looking at the cigarettes and says "you're ass looks fine to me" Dude you're old enough to be my grandfather, get the fuck out of here.

Caitlin and Grandmas weekly argument

So at the grocery store we have Caitlin and her Grandma come in several times a week. Caitlin is a chubby little girl probably around 10 years old. Caitlin doesn't like to stay with grandma, she likes to wander around on her own and 'sneak' munchkins out of the donut boxes. You're not slick Caitlin I see what you're doing. As far as I know she's cut it out since I caught her.

Anyway they come in occasionally to do they're grocery shopping. It's bad though when us employees already know their routine. It goes something like this.

They come in and Caitlin wanders off to the candy or donuts. The store will be quiet when we hear grandma suddenly yell at the top of her lungs:

Grandma: "Caitlin! Where are ya Caitlin?!"
Caitlin: "I'm over here grandma!"
(Note these 2 are at opposite ends of the store yelling for everyone to hear)
Grandma: "get over here Caitlin!!"
Caitlin: "no grandma I don't wanna!"
Grandma: "I said get over here Caitlin!
Ya know what your doctor said about your donuts"
Caitlin: "I don't care I don't want to go over there"
Grandma: "that's it I've had it! Go to the car Caitlin!"
Caitlin: "no grandma I don't wanna"
Grandma: "I said go to the car Caitlin!!!"
Caitlin: "no grandma!!!"
________________________________

This goes on for about 10-15 minutes several times a week. Same thing.

Grandma, go get Caitlin a cell phone so we don't have to listen to this crap. No one wants to listen to you and your granddaughter argue across the store. And Caitlin get over your donut obsession, and treat your grandma with some respect.

"you can take those bananas and shove them up your ass"

I was just bagging when I notice 2 customers arguing in the express lane. I go to the register and there's 2 men.

The first is a young guy with glasses, he hadn't noticed the 12 items or less sign which 90% of you people don't notice but most of the time we won't make a big deal about it. He had I don't know maybe 30 or so items.

The second man is an older guy in his late 50's early 60's. He actually saw the sign and was angry with the guy in front of him and was making unnecessary comments like " the sign says 12 items or less don't your glasses work?" and "you can take those bananas and shove them up your ass"

Meanwhile my coworker on register is trying his hardest to just keep his mouth shut and not to laugh at the immaturity of the older gentleman.

I applaud the younger guy for not giving in and commenting back.

I decide to step in and say "ok sir let's just calm down" he replies "no you need to not tell me to calm down, you're not the one who had to wait in line. I didn't say it but I'm thinking to myself "gee sit you're right. I've never had to wait in a line before."

I can understand if he'd been waiting a while but I saw him get in line, he'd only been waiting 5 minutes.

No one likes to wait in a line but you just have to be patient and wait your fucking turn. This guy was acting like a child.

He was very upset so I asked "would you like to speak with my supervisor?" he says "not if it's the fat useless one" so now I'm trying not to laugh and say "I'm not sure which one you're referring to but if that's how you feel I'll go get the store manager.

I go to ask my supervisor to get the store manager and don't even have to explain the situation the man had been loud enough for her to hear 20 feet away and agrees the man is being ridiculous.

My store manager comes over and before he has a chance to say anything the customer says "oh god this guy? Never mind I'm leaving"

I didn't say it but I'm thinking ok that's cool if you're going to be a douche don't come back either.
Instead of telling that guy to shove his bananas up his ass, why don't you get your head out of your ass first sir.

Empty Beer

During 3rd shift the store was pretty dead so I was going around doing my work. I come back to my register and someone was nice enough to leave an empty clear plastic cup of beer on my counter. Who walks around with a clear plastic cup of beer at 4 in the morning? Yeah, you're cool.

Next time a beer is left at my register I hope it's an un-opened Bud Light.

 

Personal chats with Satan

A dirty looking man comes through my line carrying a large bag that probably carrys all his possessions. He's been in line for a while and keeps staring at the floor muttering to himself. He hands me a bunch of bottle reciepts and asks if I've been 'saved'. I told him I was atheist, he asks "so you worship the devil?", I told him no I don't worship anything, I don't believe in religion. He starts rambling about how the world is full of sinners and how we are all going to Hell. I will say I agree that the world sucks.

Suddenly he stops and looks down, muttering to himself. He says  in all seriousness "I talked to Satan." "Oh really?" I replied. He said "Yeah, he told me you're going to Hell"

Right...

So I go to my supervisor a little freaked out and tell her what happened. Her response "Where's your name tag?"

1 dozen clams = ?

I was talking to a co-worker in the Seafood department. He told me a customer asked him how many clams come in a dozen. What's even sadder is he said thats a common question.

Why is it called common sense when it isn't that common?