Earn money while you buy groceries with Ibotta

  

I've been using Ibotta for about a year now and I've earned $282.12 so far just buying groceries. Being low-income and relying on foodstamps this app has been extremely helpful for getting a few extra bucks every month on stuff I was buying anyway. 

How it works is it gives you offers for different items, you scan your receipt and can cash out when you earn $20. Every time I go grocery shopping I sit down and review all the available offers and check everything I might potentially buy. At self-check out I probably annoy customers behind me by scanning each offer on separate receipts (makes it easier when scanning into the app). Often if I check the Stop & Shop app I can find a lot of the same deals with store coupons as well to maximize savings. Check your preferred grocery store's app for more coupons. 

Ibotta can also be used for money back with online purchases and food delivery such as Grubhub, Uber Eats and DoorDash.

 

Especially during pandemic times it's important to save money where you can and these are purchases you're going to make anyway so might as well earn some money back on them. 

Download Ibotta today and use my referral code "hgpcoec"to start earning money back on your purchases. I highly recommend this app! Sign up for Ibotta!

The look

When ringing someone out, sometimes they get what I've dubbed 'The look'. They're checking the prices as you ring everything up as if you're intentionally trying to over charge them. They're head tilts to the side, mouth agape staring intently as if somethings wrong.Whenever I see 'The Look' I don't even bother waiting for them to say "Why isn't _____ ringing up at ____?" I just ask whats wrong. They're always confused, "How did you know I was going to say that?'

You people look retarded

Next time you're at the store take a look around, I guarantee there's an old person somewhere with this look on their face.

How 'bout some fries wih that shake?

Like many stores, ours sells little paper placards for different charities throughout the year. You pay either $1 or $5, and we give you a little paper card to write your name (or anything you want, for that matter) on. We then display all the cards for everyone to see. Remember this. This will come up again in a later post. Pretend you're surprised. Anyway, the charity we're raising money for this month has, appropriately enough, shamrock-shaped cards.

During my shift yesterday, I had a customer who looked a lot like Carl from ATHF. Here. For reference:



When I asked him to purchase a shamrock for charity, he replied, in a very thick and nauseating voice, "I'll buy shamrocks if you tape them on (he gestured to my boobs) and give me a shamrock shake. Heh heh." I kept a completely straight face, looked him in the eye and replied "Sorry, sir. I'm not McDonalds. That's the only shamrock shake you'll be getting. You can find them across the street."

After this, I immediately went to my supervisor and told him that "anytime a customer buys 2 $5 charity placards, we should have to give them a mandatory shamrock shake. And not the kind they serve across the street". I then gave a little demonstration and walked away, leaving him staring open-mouthed at what I just did. Then from behind me I hear "Oh my god. Yes. Please do it."

Artichokes...My weapon of choice.

In my line of work, you'd never think you'd have to contemplate what your weapon of choice would be if you needed to arm yourself in the grocery store. When you're a cashier, you have very limited resources. If you worked as a grocery stockperson, you already get to carry around a box cutter. As a cashier, yes we have guns, but they only shoot lasers. Weak lasers. In the shape of a 3" bar. Not what I'd consider useful. Just saying.

Fortunately for me, I learned that artichokes can be useful weapons. No, really. How did I discover this? An old man attacked me with some. About 12 of them actually. For you educationally challenged folk, yes, 12 is a whole dozen! I was nearing the end of my shift when an old Italian man with a heavy accent came through my line with a hibiscus plant and an armload of artichokes. First I scan the hibiscus, and I hear "No! No much!" Um, what? Apparently he meant that I was charging him too much. I pointed out the little price sticker that said $14.99. "No! Is $2.99!" The hell it is. To humor him, I got the floral department manager over. She politely told him that the hibiscus was $14.99 and that maybe he read another sign by accident. Surprise surprise, the guy decided he didn't want the plant. Fine by me. Whatever. So I ring up his artichokes. Being out of season at the time, they cost $2 each, so his order came to $24. "No! Too much! You no make it $24! Not pay that!" I respond with "I'm sorry, sir. They really are $2 each and I'm not allowed to change the price." At this point, he starts to leave and I assume I'll just be voiding his order and taking the next customer. Life is never that easy. He turns back around and begins throwing the artichokes at me and yelling god knows what in Italian. Not only are artichokes solid objects and not fun to get hit with from the get-go, but they have these tiny little prickers on them like cacti! After being hit with 4 or 5 of the dozen he threw, he makes a face at me and leaves the store.

So, if you ever find yourself in need of a way to defend yourself in the produce section, artichokes make great weapons and and should be your projectile of choice!

Greetings from the new guy. Erm...new gal!

Hello faithful readers! My name is Anita, and I've been in the retail game for almost 15 years. (Kill me now. Please. Anyone? Bueller?) Anywho, I'm a 30ish year old female and I work as a cashier with MJ in Mentaltown. I've worked in various retail positions, including customer service at a department store, jewelry department manager, head cashier of a grocery store, etc. So as you can imagine, I've seen my fair share of things at work. I've been assaulted with groceries, I've threatened to kill a manager, I've been hit in the parking lot. What I'm trying to say is that I've got stories and you've got free time. Let's get together and waste some time, shall we?

Fried chicken for seizures

A guy at one of my jobs had a seizure the other day. At first I had no idea what was happening, my supervisor just said "go outside and wait for the ambulance to arrive" when I asked what happened he told me to just go outside and do what I was told.
I went outside and a manager sent me back in as the ambulance was arriving.

I had to help a customer find an item near the aisle where the guy had the seizure so after I helped them I was curious and walked down to see what happened.

My store manager had brought a chair over to the guy and was talking to him. He told me to go get the man fried chicken. I just said "yes sir" and did as I was told.

But I was thinking, out of all the things in this store that could possibly help this man, fried chicken?

The guy was fine in the end.

Apparently WW3 is being started next month by Canada?

A dirty homeless looking guy came into the grocery store asking for help finding something so I went to help him and check him out. While I'm checking him out he looks around to see if anyone else is nearby and says to me "You know not many people know this but WW3 is starting in March. The Canadians, Chinese and Russians are all going to team up on Israel" I asked him why he thought that and he said he learned it listening to a show online every Saturday that he doesn't remember the name of. His story reminded me of this old video



He also told me Jesus is coming in 10 years.

5 things NOT to do at the store

#1 Do NOT talk on your phone when you're checking out. I'm standing here waiting for you to pay, I'm busy, I have shit to do. Don't just stand there ignoring the cashier while you bull shit on the phone. It's rude assholes.

#2 DO NOT try and hit on the young attractive cashier if you're old and creepy. You're just embarrassing yourself and we're not interested.

#3 DO NOT throw away full open containers of beer, dunkin donuts, etx in our garbage cans outside its fucking disgusting when you have to change the over flowing garbage can and it's leaking beer and coffee everywhere. Just dump it out first or something.

#4 If you're at the grocery store and you decide at the last moment you don't want something or can't afford it, just give it to the cashier. Don't shove bacon, ice cream and other frozen foods in our magazine racks and then bitch that it's expensive. It's your fault for damaging our products. We lose money on that stuff and then you have to pay more.
Also you people aren't slick when you're shoving some unwanted item in the back of whatever.

#5 Especially during 3rd shift, contrary to popular belief we have a lot of stuff to get done, why do you think (most) stores look nice and well stocked when you come in in the morning.
DO NOT waste our time because you can't make up your mind what candy bar you want. Come to us when you make up your damn mind.
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Sorry this post is kinda pissy but god people is this stuff too much to ask for?

Caitlin and Grandmas weekly argument

So at the grocery store we have Caitlin and her Grandma come in several times a week. Caitlin is a chubby little girl probably around 10 years old. Caitlin doesn't like to stay with grandma, she likes to wander around on her own and 'sneak' munchkins out of the donut boxes. You're not slick Caitlin I see what you're doing. As far as I know she's cut it out since I caught her.

Anyway they come in occasionally to do they're grocery shopping. It's bad though when us employees already know their routine. It goes something like this.

They come in and Caitlin wanders off to the candy or donuts. The store will be quiet when we hear grandma suddenly yell at the top of her lungs:

Grandma: "Caitlin! Where are ya Caitlin?!"
Caitlin: "I'm over here grandma!"
(Note these 2 are at opposite ends of the store yelling for everyone to hear)
Grandma: "get over here Caitlin!!"
Caitlin: "no grandma I don't wanna!"
Grandma: "I said get over here Caitlin!
Ya know what your doctor said about your donuts"
Caitlin: "I don't care I don't want to go over there"
Grandma: "that's it I've had it! Go to the car Caitlin!"
Caitlin: "no grandma I don't wanna"
Grandma: "I said go to the car Caitlin!!!"
Caitlin: "no grandma!!!"
________________________________

This goes on for about 10-15 minutes several times a week. Same thing.

Grandma, go get Caitlin a cell phone so we don't have to listen to this crap. No one wants to listen to you and your granddaughter argue across the store. And Caitlin get over your donut obsession, and treat your grandma with some respect.

"you can take those bananas and shove them up your ass"

I was just bagging when I notice 2 customers arguing in the express lane. I go to the register and there's 2 men.

The first is a young guy with glasses, he hadn't noticed the 12 items or less sign which 90% of you people don't notice but most of the time we won't make a big deal about it. He had I don't know maybe 30 or so items.

The second man is an older guy in his late 50's early 60's. He actually saw the sign and was angry with the guy in front of him and was making unnecessary comments like " the sign says 12 items or less don't your glasses work?" and "you can take those bananas and shove them up your ass"

Meanwhile my coworker on register is trying his hardest to just keep his mouth shut and not to laugh at the immaturity of the older gentleman.

I applaud the younger guy for not giving in and commenting back.

I decide to step in and say "ok sir let's just calm down" he replies "no you need to not tell me to calm down, you're not the one who had to wait in line. I didn't say it but I'm thinking to myself "gee sit you're right. I've never had to wait in a line before."

I can understand if he'd been waiting a while but I saw him get in line, he'd only been waiting 5 minutes.

No one likes to wait in a line but you just have to be patient and wait your fucking turn. This guy was acting like a child.

He was very upset so I asked "would you like to speak with my supervisor?" he says "not if it's the fat useless one" so now I'm trying not to laugh and say "I'm not sure which one you're referring to but if that's how you feel I'll go get the store manager.

I go to ask my supervisor to get the store manager and don't even have to explain the situation the man had been loud enough for her to hear 20 feet away and agrees the man is being ridiculous.

My store manager comes over and before he has a chance to say anything the customer says "oh god this guy? Never mind I'm leaving"

I didn't say it but I'm thinking ok that's cool if you're going to be a douche don't come back either.
Instead of telling that guy to shove his bananas up his ass, why don't you get your head out of your ass first sir.

Personal chats with Satan

A dirty looking man comes through my line carrying a large bag that probably carrys all his possessions. He's been in line for a while and keeps staring at the floor muttering to himself. He hands me a bunch of bottle reciepts and asks if I've been 'saved'. I told him I was atheist, he asks "so you worship the devil?", I told him no I don't worship anything, I don't believe in religion. He starts rambling about how the world is full of sinners and how we are all going to Hell. I will say I agree that the world sucks.

Suddenly he stops and looks down, muttering to himself. He says  in all seriousness "I talked to Satan." "Oh really?" I replied. He said "Yeah, he told me you're going to Hell"

Right...

So I go to my supervisor a little freaked out and tell her what happened. Her response "Where's your name tag?"

1 dozen clams = ?

I was talking to a co-worker in the Seafood department. He told me a customer asked him how many clams come in a dozen. What's even sadder is he said thats a common question.

Why is it called common sense when it isn't that common?

First Post

Hello world! My name is MJ. I work 2 customer service jobs, as a cashier at a grocery store and a 24/7 pharmacy. I live in a  town us locals call Mentaltown. My first job is just daytime cashiering in a grocery store, my second job is 3rd shift as a cashier at a 24/7 pharmacy, less than a mile away from a mental institution called CVH.

In my line of work I see alot of crazy things, enough to where I think I could write a book just about the more bizarre side of customer service.  That's why I decided to start this blog, to share my stories of past and current crazy customer stories. I hope you find these people as entertaining as I do.

Enjoy