Crazy Guy Rant Part 1

This is just a huge WTF?

This old white guy came into my store and was so ridiculous, and crazy it was just unbelievable and after 10 minutes and no end in sight I started audio recording it. This is only part 1. If anyone can explain to me what the hell he was talking about leave me a comment and stay tuned for Crazy Guy Rant Part 2: Jesus Rap (yeah he actually starte rapping)

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Excuse me officer can you help me...? I need a pack of Newports

I don't know what this lady was on... But I want it lol. She comes in and buys some candy with food stamps, and then she wanted to buy a pack of Newport's. Those are our most popular cigarettes so it's one of the few items I actually know the price of off hand. They're $8.28 with tax but the lady only had $5 so then she wanted to return the candy to afford them. When I told her that wouldn't work she asked why... I don't know ma'am because you can't buy cigarettes with food stamps? So she hangs around for a bit, talking to me (I have no idea what she's talking about, I'm just agreeing with everything she says) and asking people if they can spare $3.
What was hilarious though was when a cop came through my line. She says "excuse me officer can you help me?" I thought maybe she was going to ask for a ride home since she was fucked up and mentioned she lived a bit of a (walking) distance away. Instead she says "can you help me officer...? I need $3 for a pack of smokes" lmao! It was so hard for me, and I think the cop too to not laugh at her. I'm also shocked the cop didn't do a sobriety test.

It was getting to the point where I was considering calling the manager to kick her out when she finally left. That lady was enough crazy for one night...

Donations & AsshoLeS

This month my store is taking donations for ALS (the disease Stephen Hawking has) and Cystic Fibrosis research. A message pops up on the register when I'm checking them out. People tend to be rude when asked if they want to spend there money on other people. I'll say "Would you like to donate-" and I'm cut off with a "no" before I even finish the sentence. I understand if you don't want to donate but you could at least let me finish the sentence asshole. Is common courtesy too much to ask for these days? It's sad when I actually do ask, and I'm thanking people for letting me finish a sentence.

Last night a kid came through my line, and after his receipt printed he asked if we were doing any donations. I was shocked because no one ever wants to donate when I ask. By this point I'd stopped asking and just hit no when the message pops up. I told him about our stores current donations and he bought a piece of candy just so he could donate $3. I was moved by the small act of kindness and I told him how I had given up asking people because all I got was rude replies. He laughed and said "I was sent here to tell you not to give up" and left. I started asking again after he left and actually got a few donations. So lesson of the day: not every customer is a selfish asshole.

Janet

One of my first posts Why just eat the candy bar when the wrapper is the best part? talked about a lady who I now know as a regular. For obvious privacy reasons we'll call her "Janet".I see this lady several times a week usually around 3AM when she buys chocolate and ice cream. She's always in a rush and has an appointment in 7 minutes. When I first saw her I thought she had a blue tooth. No she doesn't... She talks to herself, her candy and ice cream, sometimes I'm not even sure she's talking to me.
Janet's a very energetic older woman probably in her 50's. She's kind of short and has glasses. She has long white hair and is usually wearing one of those paperboy hats. She seems a bit out of it and slurs her words some what.
One time she told me she fought in Vietnam. I'm not sure if it's true but I can vividly imagine her in camo crawling through the jungle with her gun and grenades.

She's a nice person, the first time I checked her out I gave her her change and told her to have a nice night. She walked half way out the door, turned around to me and said dramatically "I love you. DON'T kill yourself." and walked out. Ok... What scares me about her a little bit is that she's the one counseling the crazy people at the local mental home. I see a lot of people who work at the same place as her and they all know exactly who I'm talking about when I mention her. I've heard she sits in the parking lot at her job and smokes weed in her car. I would love to smoke a joint with this lady.

Janet is a very interesting and entertaining lady so I'm probably going to start posting about her more. Keep reading for more stories about the sweet, eccentric Janet!

Caitlin and Grandmas weekly argument

So at the grocery store we have Caitlin and her Grandma come in several times a week. Caitlin is a chubby little girl probably around 10 years old. Caitlin doesn't like to stay with grandma, she likes to wander around on her own and 'sneak' munchkins out of the donut boxes. You're not slick Caitlin I see what you're doing. As far as I know she's cut it out since I caught her.

Anyway they come in occasionally to do they're grocery shopping. It's bad though when us employees already know their routine. It goes something like this.

They come in and Caitlin wanders off to the candy or donuts. The store will be quiet when we hear grandma suddenly yell at the top of her lungs:

Grandma: "Caitlin! Where are ya Caitlin?!"
Caitlin: "I'm over here grandma!"
(Note these 2 are at opposite ends of the store yelling for everyone to hear)
Grandma: "get over here Caitlin!!"
Caitlin: "no grandma I don't wanna!"
Grandma: "I said get over here Caitlin!
Ya know what your doctor said about your donuts"
Caitlin: "I don't care I don't want to go over there"
Grandma: "that's it I've had it! Go to the car Caitlin!"
Caitlin: "no grandma I don't wanna"
Grandma: "I said go to the car Caitlin!!!"
Caitlin: "no grandma!!!"
________________________________

This goes on for about 10-15 minutes several times a week. Same thing.

Grandma, go get Caitlin a cell phone so we don't have to listen to this crap. No one wants to listen to you and your granddaughter argue across the store. And Caitlin get over your donut obsession, and treat your grandma with some respect.